Another fantastic night

the tinnitus is never gonna stop, nothing that happened can ever be changed

i think i had a stroke last year
i was supposed to follow up with a neurologist but i never did

i should ve been nicer to that mormon kid in middle school i guess, now im the outsider undesirable
fuck all of you

i dont know how to get out of here
im gonna end up back here and die no matter what

did you take your meds today?

well i didnt do what i was supposed to
i cant afford meds or idagnoses
i didnt mean to mess up the thread though, im sorry, its fucking embarrassing

well if you are a burger that cant afford your meds i feel sorry for you genuenly
dont feel bad

i think i'll be fine
i hear state colleges offer health insurance
i just want somewhere quiet and clean to sleep, that's all i've ever fuckjing wantede
i just wonder how many phases
fucki

i am having a bad time

ive just been enjoying a new work from home job, but not because its remote, but because it actually interests me

youtube.com/watch?v=HiFNt8nGffA

i remember

tonight was slightly frustrating but its all gucci tho
how yall banters doing

running out of decent food

define decent food

i dont even know man
there's plenty of rice and beans and eggs
i think i need more fiber and fruits/vegetables

when i was eating decently several years ago i kinda took it for granted, i can't remember very well what i used to eat

it's 90 degrees fahrenheit and there's dominicans having sort of a block party nearby
there's kids and stuff, it looks wholesome
loud though
i gotta get the pizza delivery job and save some money so i can go to a hotel room for a few nights

i passed a CISSP practice test last year without studying for it but you need a few years of experience for the certification apparently
duno what i'd even do with that though

bro relax

living next to dominicans

i gotta get that pizza delivery job

save some money so i can go to a hotel room for a few nights

You sound like a man of many problems if "getting that pizza delivery job" is actually a concern

i cant that's the whole problem with my life

man of many problems

could also be "man with many problems". You can interpret it either way i suppose

?

yeah
a lot of it was/is my fault

>

if "getting that pizza delivery job" is actually a concern

should it not be a concern? i just dont know how to parse that or what you mean

please i want to know

SNIFFA

should it not be a concern? i just dont know how to parse that or what you mean

please i want to know

Idk... like, why pizza delivery specifically? If you need a job badly why not any job, why is pizza delivery so important? You mentioned studying CISSP but... your concern is delivering pizza. I dont quite know what you mean either. I know people with concerns and its that their car has broken down and they need a new one, or their wife is leaving them and they have to pay alimony and she is some crazy bitch talking smack about their kids Dad.
I've heard of people wonder how to make a payment after getting fired or laid off. But... "pizza delivery"... i've never heard that one before

SNIFFA

yes, i sniff

total swede annihilation

i dont know

I know people with concerns and its that their car has broken down and they need a new one, or their wife is leaving them and they have to pay alimony and she is some crazy bitch talking smack about their kids Dad.

i dont understand the significance of those problems in comparison to me worrying about pizza delivery

i think im just fucking insane

i dont NEED a job, i can exist in this state indefinitely
it's extremely uncomfortable but it is security
i don't want to be like this though

io dont fucking know what to say

i don't have a priority
these are all just things i like the idea of but never act on
i feel like a CISSP could lead me somewhere if my life were more stable and dignified, but i need to see a dentist and be able to sleep well and eat well and all that before i could handle the pressure and interacting with other peopl
a part-time pizza delivery job is something i feel like i could handle
no one seems to want to give me the time of day if i don't have a job, since i'm basically a priveleged neet in their eyes

i sound like a BPD highschool girl from a rich family
god i can't stand this shit
i want to be able to relate to all of you

im gonna ruin bant

shut the fuck up retard

i dont NEED a job, i can exist in this state indefinitely

but it is security

A job delivering pizza is security?

io dont fucking know what to say

i dont know what to say either? Do you just neetmode with your parents?

since i'm basically a priveleged neet in their eyes

how old are you?

A job delivering pizza is security?

no, living with my parents is

Do you just neetmode with your parents?

yeah

how old are you?

21

i don't want to be a parasite i swear to god
i don't hold it against anyone for seeing me that way, that's not how i meant it

no, living with my parents is security

No it isnt you retard, you have to leave the nest at some point

i don't want to be a parasite i swear to god

Join the national guard. Depending on the state they'll pay 100% college tuition for 4 years too (to any state-funded school)
I signed up when i was 18. I now make enough money that i am quite content

everyone tells me to join the military lol

supposedly the state would already pay for 150 hours of tuition for any state-funded school in the state i'm in, until i'm 25, since my dad was in the military

everyone tells me to join the military lol

maybe they are right?
its what young people who dont know wtf to do with their lives should do

150 hours of tuition

thats half of a semester...

idk whjat to do

billions must die

i must die

my body is a machine that makes excuses to not join the military

my body is a machine

if it was a machine you wouldnt fantasize about delivering pizza. Go shoot some guns and get your free college

i think i'll just bide more time
gotta sit here until im desperate enough

i hate myself so fucking much
i hate everything

you are more then 50% of all posts in this thread
why?

io got into a screaming match with my parents triyng to ask about the 150 hours thing

well i have a lot of shit that i apparently want to post and it's very disorganized, so it comes out as more posts than it needs to on top of being more than should probably be posted in the firstp lace

on top of being more than should probably be communicated in the first place*

i think i'll just bide more time

gotta sit here until im desperate enough

do that for long enough and you'll be 29 wishing you did something sooner

ask about the 150 hours thing

nigga just get your own free 4 years of college, you can literally go, in person to a college filled with hot chicks while in the national guard; national guard is one weekend a month and a couple weeks a year in the summer for field exercises
speak english i dont understand you

national guard is one weekend a month and a couple weeks a year in the summer for field exercises

i should clarify, thats after basic and AIT training

do that for long enough and you'll be 29 wishing you did something sooner

OOH WOOOW OOH WOOOOW I HAD NNO IDEA

speak english i dont understand you

i spoke very literally there
you just don't have the patience for it which is fine, i'm sure i wouldn't either

i'll be fine

muh hot chicks

i just wanna see a fucking dentist and live somewhere clean/quiet

look i understand joining the military is a rational thing to do and i appreciate your advice/sentimetn

OOH WOOOW OOH WOOOOW I HAD NNO IDEA

i literally know people who are hitting 30 living with their parents with $70 in their bank wanting to kill themselves. They say "i will change i will change!" and they dont. Thats how they thought 2 years ago, probably how they thought 8 years ago too

i just wanna see a fucking dentist and live somewhere clean/quiet

get on welfare for the dentist. And well... you cant complain about where you live when you choose to live with others and depend on them for housing

it's hard to change

i cant fucking believe what a dumbass i was
you knwo it was my idea to go to highschool in the first place and it was my idea to drop out
i can't believe i fucked that up
the scary part is i convinced myself it was a good idea to drop out

And well... you cant complain about where you live when you choose to live with others and depend on them for housing

i know that's true but it doesn't feel like a choice
sometimes i wish they would kick me out
idk why i don't just leave

yall niggas wilding

i wanna be liek that guy in the image
i could've been a math prodigy or something
all anyone's ever told me is how lucky i am and how amazing i am and how much of a piece ofshit i am
nah people are good
idk how to think about this

i convinced myself it was a good idea to drop out

i could've been a math prodigy or something

desu i think people are just born with either amazing or poor mentalities and... you might have just been born with a poor mentality and are regretting it and you want to see change in yourself but dont want to take a step forward. All it takes is one step, and then another step, and its like you are re-learning how to walk

idk how to think about this

That something you are doing is wrong and you know its wrong and moping wont fix it

yall niggas wilding

ive seen plenty like this. I know its common in Japan but is it not as common in sweden?

my dad worked on the motherfucking stealth bomber in the late 80s while it was still classified and we still ended up in a ghetto

yeah that all seems to be the case

All it takes is one step, and then another step, and its like you are re-learning how to walk

i've noticed that
i seem to pussy out whenever the snowball starts rolling a bit

my dad worked on the motherfucking stealth bomber in the late 80s

my Dad told high tales, gave me a laptop he claimed to be a senator (who has since been incarcerated in federal prison). My Dad did work for the senate. No idea if its true or not. But i know he did bullshit about a few things...or maybe i just wasnt convinced enough and i never bothered with my own research.
Anyway he died of alcoholism and in debt, i had to front the bill for his cremation and burial since he didnt have life insurance.

i seem to pussy out whenever the snowball starts rolling a bit

whats this "snowball"? You get back up and just take another step. You went back three steps, okay so make up for it.