I am sad and drinking, I ran out of ciggies and weed and almost of of alcohol...

she has a pretty unique name so I don't feel comfortable saying it sorry

what pussy does to a mfer
glad it aint me

What happened, Anon?

I were also a miserable fuck before I met her, maybe even more so

hiccups

nevermind she good

I am worried and miss her, she went ghost and I haven't heard from her

good, happy your dog is okay anon

But things were more or less good before that, Anon?

lole fishy fishy fiish

Yes, nothing out of the oridinary tho. The last I heard was when I woke up I had messages from her, saying what's up asking why I were offline (I am usually awake at night when she wrote) and then she answered my messages from earlier.

fish?

ohh you are referring to the personality of a fish guy from r9k? what even happened to himn?

I see. She might be just busy with her stuff, and even as worried as you

Don't mind these things too much, Anon. Stay strong and you will probably talk to her sooner than later, sharing new goods with each other

maybe, I am probably just a drunk retard rn idk. I hope she is well

She will, and will be glad for having a caring person like you at her side

I would probably like to be like you, because I'm untrustworthy and paranoid in I way I don't think you are. Because of that I can't have a girl who I care that much, unlike you. So take advantage if your virtues, Anon. Do your best

Thank you anon

because I'm untrustworthy and paranoid

Ohh I am sorry to hear anon, but I hope you will find the person you can care for

I don't know, mate. I just want to do something good that people can remember. Not even remember me or my name, just the action

A classmate of mine do like me

We have been talking for the last 5-6 months

We enjoy the time together

We understand each other when we talk about our pasts and certain experiences

She is cute and caring with everyone around her

Still, the conversations I've been having with a friend in common we have, confirms me that I'm not worth the try. I asked that friend for his help to prevent things to go wrong, and if possible, stop her from having feelings for me

I know that this sounds strange as fuck, how the hell I could not take this opportunity? I know how it will end, so for the sake of her well being, I'll step back as far as it's needed

I don't know, mate. I just want to do something good that people can remember. Not even remember me or my name, just the action

I saved a screenshot of your previous message because I liked it and want to remember it anon

I asked that friend for his help to prevent things to go wrong, and if possible, stop her from having feelings for me

Why not just give it a try, it might end up going well?

I saved a screenshot of your previous message because I liked it and want to remember it anon

Nice, I might save the No. of the thread to see it in archived.moe or similar websites

Why not just give it a try, it might end up going well?

See, I've always been insufficient in a relationship. No matter how I change, and I've changed enough, I won't do it again just for a pretty face. It's fucked to say that, because I could be one of the best friends a girl can have, but if she starts to think about me wanting something more than friendship, that's when things start to go wrong. Years ago I would not know how to react at that, and then I'll just play along. But there's always problems that cannot be fixed, because it would mean to behave like a person I am not, and I'm myself and that's all

But I'm not "a victim of women" or something like that, no. I've been thinking, that I might have some psychopathic traits. Let's take for example the woman who I had sex with for the first time

Single mother

Emotionally broken and unstable

She tries to corner me to force me to play her game

I play it... for innocence? or for benefit?

I behave like your average "good guy"

No drinking, no smoking, no drugs, no casual sex

I even start to talk about wedding

She plays my game, ensuring me that she is really into "housewife role" and all

She stopped to flirt with men on chats

I fuck her many times in motels, she sucks my dick and swallows the cum

After all of that, and just when I start the college, I'm talking about end the relationship

A cycle of breaking up, return, breaking up starts

The last time we returned all seemed to be all right for us two

Next day I woke up after a hellish nightmare

She sends me a message wishing me a good day

"Stop it"

She lose her nerve notoriously

During the recess I head up to her job to talk with her for the last time

There she really lose her nerve

I was just there, in silent

(I'll continue it now)

I raised my voice just to shut her up

I walk away pretending like nothing happened

I assist to the classes like any student, not even caring that much about it

I head up to her house in two occasions, just to left at the mailbox two letters

Nothing too special in those letters, besides my interests in a greater good

I think I did fucked with her mind since she called me once in a while during the next months

I ignore the calls

I think she might get gang banged during her birthday party, and since then she managed to forget about me

You see? that's why I don't want to have something to do with any girl or woman. What if I behave like this again? or worse? I won't take the risk. Especially because this classmate, and it's fair to say, friend, had an abusive boyfriend in the past. Imagine what it would be to have a psycho like me as a boyfriend, nothing good can happen

Sorry if I'm basically killing the whole concept of "hope" here, but it seems that I'm indeed hopeless

I am sure you can change and be a good boyfriend for her if you tried? you have learned from your previous experience right? and if you care enough about her to not wanting to mess her up shows that you do care for her and that must be something?

Sorry I was slow at answering I just got back from the gas station, I decided not to drink more so just got some food and an energy drink so I can sober up

youtube.com/watch?v=GNR0LiigYhQ

fish

Good choices, eating is important to prevent further effects of the hang over. Anyway...

I am sure you can change and be a good boyfriend for her if you tried?

I have nothing to try, if I can't, I can't

you have learned from your previous experience right?

Did I actually learn something? Yes, I learned that I'm a monster. I know that I'm not ugly, I'm tall and I'm at good shape. But that doesn't mean anything if I drag women to Hell

and if you care enough about her to not wanting to mess her up shows that you do care for her and that must be something?

Yes, that means that I'm aware of myself and how I am. And yes, I don't like it. That's why I struggle everyday to prevent tragedies made by my hands

Do you really believe that you are hopeless? Do you really not think that if you tried you could be good for someone?

I think so, it's not worth to waste time. I could give you another example if you wanted

I know that my mindset is contradicting most of my takes on things like this. I always encourage friends, acquaintances, and anons around here to be better and try their best. Hell I even did it with you. But with myself that doesn't work, never worked

I see anon, I do hope you can get to the point where you can be there and a positive person for a girl. But I understand that you are not in the mindset for it

Thanks, mate. I think you might be mistaking, but thanks anyway. I'll do something important, you can take my word on that

Have a nice day, I should go to sleep soon (I probably won't). If the thread survives, I'll probably peek just for curiosity

Goodnight, I should really go to sleep too it's 7:30 in the morning and I have been up all night

I feel you, I've been there. Wine, beer, some snacks, the night flies away

It does, especially with vidya and music too